With Miranda out of the way, this show can finally get on with its true endgame: making Lizzie and Gordo happen, for some reason.
It’s begun: the exile of Miranda. Lalaine missed six episodes of the second season, including the finale, and was absent from The Lizzie McGuire Movie for reasons vaguely related to her music career and the filming of a completely forgettable DCOM. I don’t fully understand the timing on that, because they filmed the movie during the fall of 2002, when season 2 was already airing – you can tell the movie was filmed later because everyone looks noticeably older. It might be that I just want to invent a scandal here, but I wonder if Lalaine just got sick of being on Lizzie. It had to be hard getting stuck with the shoplifting and anorexia plotlines when your costar’s character got to date celebrities and whatnot. And Hilary Duff had already had a smash hit DCOM and was launching her music career by the end of the series, so I’m sure Lalaine was itching to get some of the same success.
If you like John Hughes movies, boy will you understand the basic gist of what this episode is trying to accomplish!
This season is really committing hard to actually specifying the time of year for its early episodes, which is sad because the network didn’t commit at all to airing them in the correct order. This one begins with Lizzie gushing, “I love the fall! Leaves changing colors, ducks flying South…” Don’t they live in, like, L.A.? They even kick through a pile of fallen leaves that must have been imported from Washington for this scene.
What did I do to deserve two dramatic episodes in a row?
Oh no! We’ve reached the Very Special Episode!
Guys, I don’t know how much longer I can harp on how unrelatable Lizzie’s life is. I relate to the washed-out celebrity/talking horse on BoJack Horseman more than I relate to Lizzie. I relate to the pie maker who can raise the dead on Pushing Daisies and the dog with magical stretching powers in the post-apocalyptic world of Adventure Time more than I relate to Lizzie. Anyway, this is the episode when she dates a famous person – no, not the episode where she kisses a famous person, and not the episode where she herself becomes famous – so please keep this in mind the next time you encounter a listicle about how relatable Lizzie was.
You may recall that in my review for this season’s premiere I said, “I bet a few weeks from now we’ll get a ‘we’re in eighth grade now!’ episode aired completely out of order.” I had actually almost forgotten about it, because we’re almost halfway through the season and the timeframe still hasn’t been established. Well, here it is! This episode begins with Gordo and Miranda complaining about all of their difficult new classes and Lizzie countering excitedly, “But we are eighth graders now! Eighth graders!!”
Season two is a lot weirder for me to review than season one. Season one was definitely much messier, with more out-of-left-field episodes. Season two actually nails down basic characterizations and puts Lizzie in more “realistic” situations (comparatively – she hasn’t become famous yet this season), but that can mean it’s a lot cornier.
In addition to a myriad of other problems with it, Disney’s janky online video player often lists the episode titles wrong. I found this out the hard way when I recently looked up the Aarton Carter episode on IMDB and found out that it’s actually not called “Here Comes Aaron Carter,” as it’s named in the online player, but “Aaron Carter’s Coming to Town,” which makes so much more sense. This week is another example – it’s called “Best Dressed for Much Less” in IMDB, but it’s just “Best Dressed for Less” in the online player. I’ve probably made other mistakes without catching them so far. One can only devote so much energy into fully perfecting one’s Lizzie McGuire blog.